We would like to thank George Woldseth (a.k.a. Sky Masterson) for letting us present his journal from his days during the Guys and Dolls rehearsals. Enjoy!

Tuesday, June 7 th, 2005

We are approximately 4 weeks away from the show. I was at the Brewers game last night with my son, so I missed practice.

Evidently, they started to choreograph “Luck Be a Lady.” I would guess this is probably my big number in the show, so we were going to pick up where we left off last night. That’s just great; I have no starting point for this. This is one of the reasons I desperately wanted to be off book early, I figured there would be dancing involved.

This is going to be a little bit; I mean a lot of bit different than “Joseph.” When I played the Pharaoh. I basically have been playing Elvis my whole life, so to mimic was no big chore. However, I now will have to be interacting with all the gamblers around me and that includes the dance steps. Ryan Moldenhauer is Choreographer for this. Ryan you are in for a big challenge.

Ryan learned of his challenge early on as I stepped onto the chair for the start position of the dancing. I couldn’t even come off the chair gracefully, let alone wave my arm dramatically and snap my fingers in any type of rhythmic fashion. Thank God, Ryan is patient and finally at one point says let me show you.

This is one area I feel totally inadequate in and again, I’m glad I’m pretty much off book at this point, so I can devote energy to this dance. Plus for some reason this song gives me fits, not the words, but keeping the tune. Some will say I just have a hard time keeping tune in general, but give me a break this seems to be causing more problems than I normally experience.

Mercifully, after about 20 minutes of Ryan’s patience, my stumbling stiffly through dance steps, Sue Trepte comes downstairs and says we’re wanted back upstairs to run through the final mission scene and the ever popular song, “You’re Rocking the Boat.” I think of all the songs in the musical this is my favorite and Brian Quinn does an excellent job.

After several run threws, Annette Strege announces we are done for the night. I have never in all my life met a woman as energetic as she. The energizer bunny has nothing on her. One of my favorite lines of hers is “Hi, I’m Annette and I’m a liar.” I don’t know if now is the time to get into the reasons for her own self assessment.

Before I go home, I had brought in a tape player to tape the accompaniment of “Luck Be a Lady.” My hope was to plug right into key board and strictly get the keyboard version of this song to practice at home. Patti asks me to sing along with song to help her out for where she is at in the song, because we messed up last week in getting the whole song on tape. I quickly turn to Juanita and ask her to sing with me because I have a lot self-doubt as to where I will go with this song once we start singing. She obliges, reluctantly I sense, but once again she is one of the most patient people connected with the show along with Patti. We do the song. After the song, I check to make sure the song; just the accompaniment, is on the tape. Much too my horror, I hear my own voice as well. Somehow the external mike cannot be turned off. Now my confidence is really sinking. I had really wanted this tape to help me lock in the tune, not hear me on tape wrecking the song. Guess what my family is going to have to hear for the next three and a half weeks?

Anyhow, I go home rather demoralized about the evening. The dancing was embarrassing and the tape didn’t turn out, I feel like an accomplished loser. As they say, tomorrow is another day.

Saturday, June 11 th, 2005

Today is Linda and my 22 nd anniversary and another day of practice, but today over at the Senior Center for the last time, because on Monday we head over to the High School and begin the push to the big show.

Today we are going to block the song number between Holly Sina and myself “I’ll Know.”

Alright, I’m going to put this all out in the open in my own words. Yes Holly did save my life at one time. Holly and I grew up together in Waupun and also attended the same church of which my dad was the Pastor.

One summer we were on a Youth Group trip to the Dells area and had been swimming on a lake for a good portion of the day. As the day wore on another friend, Jim and I decided to swim back to the other side of the Lake. As my life goes on the lake becomes larger and larger as well as deeper and deeper. The truth, not all that wide, but probably deeper than one would think. As I neared the other shore line, I just plain tuckered out, my arms grew heavy, my wind and stamina were gone and I started to sink like a rock.

I began to cry for help, fortunately, God put two guardian angels in the lake that July afternoon, and one was Holly and the other Jim. As I fought Jim in my panic, Holly vigorously pushed and pushed me until I ended up on my knees on the sandy shoreline on the other side.

The world at the moment never looked brighter, God through Holly and Jim gave me one of many another chances that I have had in my life. Your life truly does pass before your eyes when you encounter a near death experience. Through the whole process all I could see was my parents, the hurt, and a life in my mind not complete.

I guess what I didn’t realize God was setting the stage (there’s a good pun) for Holly and me to get together again about 30 years down the road. God truly is amazing and I believe there is a plan of his through this show.

We finish the blocking for the song and then actually sing through it as well. I’m actually feeling half way pretty good about this one. That’s good, because after Tuesday night I thought I would have to wear a bag over my head for a good portion of today.

This feeling of goodness is short lived; we practice the arithmetic lyrics of the Havana scene. Once again, people learn why you do not give me a drum or ask me to keep beat. I have no sense of beat.

We’re cruising along till we hit my Achilles heel, dul se de leche. Sweet mother of Brett Favre, I cannot get the timing down or the right rhythm. Holly is patient, Juanita is patient and Patti is the ultimate saint. All three of them put it in all sorts of terms that they think I will understand. They use sport analogies, finance analogies, down beats, up beats and finally just beat it. Of which I do at about 10:30 that morning. At least I can laugh at myself, right?

Sunday, June 12 th, 2005

It’s about 9 p.m. and my brother David, who lives in Madison calls, inquiring about the program “Higher Grounds,” that was on the radio last night. Evidently, he was out riding in his car and heard the show and some members of the Watertown Players singing the song, “Fugue for Tinhorns,”

I had totally forgotten about the show, but David finds the archive for the show on the WEB page and sends it to me. So my whole family sits around the computer and listens to the show or just the parts of the show that the Watertown Players in it. The fellows were just awesome, Brandon Thompson, Brian Quinn, and Mark Otte sang. And Annette lived up to her reputation as one of the greatest schmoozers of all time. Annette you can really lay it on; as she adeptly played up to the host of the show as only she can do.

Monday, June 13 th, 2005

Finally we have made it to the High School. From here on in, all rehearsals are here. As Sue and Annette say, “Now comes crunch time.”

Practices are now to start at 6:30p.m. I was running late tonight as I had an evening appointment in my office. This is where it really gets tight for me, trying to adjust my appointment schedule with rehearsal schedule. Yes it is true; I am my own boss, however, no work, no pay. I’m not salaried.

To me, there’s a level of excitement when we make it to the high school. I now know we’re down to the short strokes. This is now my third show and you would think that this would begin to become old hat and in a way I’m glad it isn’t. I love the excitement.

Tonight was picture night and we we’re lured to the Peace Garden in front of the school by the prospect of getting a brownie. That always works for me. My picture was taken; boy do I need a haircut. I’m holding off to next week, my hair grows so fast, I don’t want it to be all straggly when we hit show time.

Alright here’s another secret Watertown Players, yes Geo does dye his hair and I also plan on having highlights done next week to keep the grays out and the blonds in. Ann Penfield is aware of this and now the secret is out. And yes, I am a very vain person.

Point of reference. Little known fact. For “Joseph” I took off 25 pounds for the Pharaoh part. I overheard, was informed, or maybe just flat out imagined the costume for the Pharaoh might be on the skimpy side. My first thought was, “no way are you going to catch Geo in some skimpy thing. But after that, I became a man on a mission, losing weight and since then, being very careful about what I eat. And yes, Dr. Turke chastised me about my weight at about that time. When they do a girth test on you, you know it’s time to take off some pounds.

Anyway, Watertown players, I am extremely vain.

Tonight I worked on “Luck Be a Lady,” with the rest of the guys working on the dance steps. I felt more comfortable tonight and Ryan sure does seem to have a lot of confidence in us.

After that, a considerable amount of time was spent by the rest of the cast with Juanita going over “Rocking the Boat.” I had a chance to work on one of my scenes with Annette and kind of take in the whole setting.

Last act of the evening was to sing through “My Time of Day.” I finally learned from Annette, of which someone spilled the beans about, she doesn’t like this song. However, she is willing to give it a go. The song is beginning to grow on me; I kind of hope it stays. If not, I will understand.

Had a lot of down time tonight which means opportunities to talk with people you normally don’t get a chance to visit with.

Had a wonderful conversation with Jan Duffy, although she was a wanted person with costuming tonight. She assured me that things will start moving a lot faster now that we’re at the high school. I guess I should know better.

Her daughter Bree is doing the choreography for the women or dolls, whichever you prefer. This is now officially sad; you could take the ages of Bree and Ryan, add them together and guess what? I’m still older. Why is this bothering me so much at this moment? Anyhow, thanks Jan for all your efforts and patience.

Tuesday, June 14 th, 2005

I had an evening appointment that caused me to be about 45 minutes late for practice tonight.

Tonight we began an attempt to get through the first Act with interruptions to block or restage (don’t know the difference between the terminology) Oldest Establishment and I’ll Know. Now if you can’t get excited about that, then there are problems. Here we have been doing all these bits and pieces, now we’ll begin to see what it looks like.

The Bayer children were here tonight and the youngest was coloring in a coloring book in the auditorium. Man did she have a big bag of crayons, so I decided to pick up a couple of the crayons out of the bag just to see what some of the names of the colors would be. What are the odds of picking out the color “Sea Grass,” twice in a row?

The Bayer’s were some of the first people to really make me feel welcome as a member of the Watertown Players last year when I was in my first play, (musical) “The Music Man.” Their children are just adorable and so respectful; this is part of what attracts me to the Watertown Players.

Then of course there is Michael Smith. Michael was here tonight. He had been in Boston throughout the weekend into Monday on business. He has become one of my best buddies in the world, so I do miss him when he is not around.

Michael has been a spiritual mentor to me as well. Last year during “The Music Man,” I was struggling spiritually. He along with others of the faith within the cast, helped ground me within my Christian faith again. Since Music Man, Michael and I get together every few weeks for accountability, devotion, and prayer. Plus the fact, we probably talk to each other daily.

Michael is also one of the few people that can always keep a perspective on things and reign in those who just might be taking themselves a little too seriously. Life is short and he has uncanny and sometimes funny way of reminding us of that. By the way Michael, “Doesn’t Adelaide look lovely tonight?”

During one of the early breaks within practice tonight, I had a chance to corner Ken Sina for some vocal tips. I have had some struggles locking in melody on some of my songs. In particular, “Luck Be a Lady,” and it’s opening.

My question of course, “How do you lock in the melody, when you have that entire accompaniment around you?”

Ken did an excellent job of breaking the song down for me and then has me think of the opening as if I were playing a musical instrument. I did play the trombone in High School until my sophomore year, so I will imagine myself playing those musical notes on my trombone but of course singing those notes instead.

Tonight I finally had a chance to try on my costume for Jan. The suit I will be wearing for Sky Masterson is one I brought from home and probably have had for 20 plus years. Yes Ryan, even my suit is older than you and possibly older than Bree as well. But if you combine your ages, ha ha, you’re older than my suit. So there…

Well the pants fit well. However the coat and vest were another story. You know all those years abusing my body with steroids, (I’m just kidding, but I’d still like to believe that I’ve bulked up) those pieces of clothing were just a little bit tight. Alright, alright a lot of bit tight.

Anyhow the suggestion was made to take them to Presto cleaners and see if they could relieve the tension. Which I will do the first thing tomorrow after ordering my wife’s Birthday cake for Saturday.

The night came to a close just a little after 10p.m. this evening, as Holly and I finished staging, “I’ve Never Been in Love Before.” I jokingly said that she should lead, since on the night of the read through, she told everyone she would be wearing the pants in this relationship. Sorry Holly.

Wednesday, June 15 th 2005

I am a tree!

Tonight it was official. Michael and I have joked about this, but it was apparent I am a tree.

We blocked “My Time of Day,” and “I’ve Never Been in Love Before,” I was as stiff and artificial as the day was long. Hands in my pockets, stiff robotic motions, and all the traits of others I have laughed about over the years.

Oh did I mention my singing? I could have sworn I heard howling outside of the building. This is what happens when you pair up Ethel Merman and Kermit the Frog.

Belief system right now? Annette, Juanita, and Sue what were you thinking?

Belief system the day after? Annette, Juanita, and Sue what were you thinking?

Belief system for the show and my positive talk? “I think I can, I think I can. I know I can, I know I can.

It was so bad, I felt an overwhelming need to get together with others of the faith and pray. So Holly, Larine, Michael, and I headed to a hallway for some prayer. Amazing what prayer does! I came out to block the scene “If I Were a Bell,” with Holly and I was not a tree. I was a punching bag. Annette and Holly both took their turns knocking the snot out of me, pulling chest hairs that were supposed to be neckties, and dragging me through the steps of the song with reckless abandon. This is where my Jedi Knight training came in handy.

End of day, I think I still have some dignity.

Thursday, June 16 th, 2005

Dignity is slipping fast. I am really beginning to doubt myself.

Tonight was getting through Act II, which we did. “Luck Be a Lady,” is not completely blocked and so there were a lot of starts and stops there.

Quit is never been a word in my vocabulary, but I’ve begun to look it up. Kind of made a decision tonight, if I survive this show, my acting career will come to an end. The anxiety, self-doubt continues to eat at me. I’ve become obsessed and consumed every waking moment I have.

On a brighter note, the last hour was costume parade and since my costume is at the cleaners, some of us went into the hall off stage with keyboard and practiced music.

Michael Smith was just awesome singing “Sue Me.” Jennie wasn’t there so Juanita filled in and it was real good. Michael, I think you just wanted to show off, but I love you anyway.

Jim Steffel was kind enough to make another CD of my music off the keyboard. I hope it helps. One thing about being the hallway, you hear echo and you can actually hear yourself sing.

Saturday, June 18 th, 2005

Beautiful morning! Lots of action at the High School with a bike rodeo going on.

You would think over the years with all the running I do, that stretching would not be an issue. In warm-ups, stretching is an issue. I got to believe there was a time in my life that I could actually touch my toes.

Game plan today was to do the whole show. I give you a big fat laugh. HA!

We squeaked in the first act at about noon on the head. One thing good coming out of today is that I am getting a good handle on my lines and how to deliver. I felt, others of course can disagree, but this was the best opening for Michael and me by far. In fact, some of Michael’s reactions made it so easy to deliver the next line and emphasize key dialogue.

I also felt this was the most comfortable I felt singing, “Ill Know.” As far as the other two songs of the first act I’m involved in, they need work. So ends a Saturday.

Monday, June 20 th, 2005

I am not a tree…Working with the Orchestra tonight. Nothing like an opportunity to work with more instruments to get the confidence back. This is kind of how it was in “Joseph.”

Everything seemed to click a lot better once the Orchestra moved in. I think it’s because now you start to hear how everything is going to play out and for me I become more conscious of counting. I now start to not lose track of what Juanita is doing. Juanita? You are the boss by the way.

Ryan Moldenhauer has done an excellent job with choreography. Not being able to see what everyone else is doing is kind of a bummer, but from what I understand the dancing in “Luck Be a Lady,” really rocks. Just wait to we get it all figured out. I personally have not had much of a chance to learn dance steps. After practice tonight, I told Ryan he really has his work cut out for him, because he now has me as his next project. I think the teacher is up for the task but I’m not so sure about the student. The next phase of educating geo.

Alright I really did a dumb thing tonight. As the night ended, Annette wanted to see where we were at with the dancing for Luck Be a Lady. So we get on stage, go through it once and begin to go through it again. As am singing, I really start to mess up the words, if fact this train had a major crash. So I’m goofing around in this mock anger with myself and pick up a folding chair to kind of, sort of, pretend to hit myself over the head. Well I actually end up doing it a little too hard. I had a head ache the rest of the evening and still kind of have one today. Kids don’t try that at home.

Anyway, night ends pretty well and I must say I’m starting to see the first signs of relief. You know what? I think I can do this.

Wednesday, June 22 nd, 2005

“Sit Down" You’re Rocking the Boat.” Over and over went the lyrics tonight. How Brian Quinn held up tonight, I am surprised. I think the handkerchief to wipe his brow was a prop, but now I’m not so sure. If he would have collapsed some where I would not have been surprise.

Little action for Geo tonight. Ran through Havana scene, they had worked out all the details at last night’s practice of which I missed, because I taken my son to the Brewers-Cubs game. Of course my usual timing was it’s typical inconsistent self. I think the whole scene works out pretty cool. The dancers are great and Brianna and Ryan are so good, that I think life is just not fair to put all the talent genes in two people. I know they are walking around in some of the goods I was supposed to have gotten.

Mark Otte makes a fantastic fall in Holly and my arms as we try to make our exit from the fight scene in Havana. I was impressed with all the action going on that I found myself just wanting to watch.

All right ladies, here’s where I reveal some of the shenanigans that go on when you’re not on stage.

There was a group of us sitting in the auditorium listening to “Sit Down,” when a few of us went back to our Junior High roots. The sad thing as the older adult, you would think I would have known better and would have taken the mature lead. Yeah, right!

Let’s just say some of our Hot Box dancers can make more animal sounds and smells than most farm animals. Alright I am kidding about the smells, but it was pretty convincing and set silliness at a new height. What a way to entertain the night away. But I must admit it was most fun thinking it was Ann passing gas and to see that beat red face.

All in all a most fun evening and more relaxed for me anyway.

Thursday, June 23 rd, 2005

When you see a guy, reach for the stars in the sky. Ah yes, “The Happy Ending.” The show reaches its climax and comes to an end. Love conquers all. Characters that were at odds are now arm in arm, singing, yet still in character.

Tonight was a run through ACT II. Hard to imagine two weeks from tonight we open. Throwing in the upcoming Holiday schedule, we basically have seven practices before the “Big Night.”

This is the point where you begin to see the structure of the show. Up until now, everything is in bits and pieces and out of ACT sequence. When everything starts to come in order, beware, you had better be paying attention.

My stress level is really starting to diminish. I am having fun again and this is the reason I wanted to do another play (musical) again. It’s fun. You can be someone who is totally out of your character and say things you never would say, but maybe wanted to say.

I think Juanita said it best to me tonighttttt. Those t’s are there for a reason. We were talking about really annunciating those t’s in “Luck Be a Lady,” so people listening would know the words. Juanita called me soft-spoken, that may or may not be true according to everyone’s perspective. However, I’m given an opportunity in that song, in my character, to be someone else. I don’t have to be soft-spoken if my character wishes differently. That’s the beauty of acting.

Notes for the evening…I really enjoy this part and it’s not because I want to hear good things about myself. It’s like a report card and those areas you need to improve on to basically bring your quality of work up.

In my first musical “Music Man,” I found rehearsal notes quite intimidating. I would sit there and listen to people get critiqued and wonder how can they handle the criticism? At the time it appeared to be a verbal whipping in front of your peers.

Now, with another musical behind me, and working on “Guys and Dolls,” my attitude and opinion of these crucial notes is so much different. I look forward to it. I believe I am and will always be my worst critic. Are Annette, Sue, Brianna, and Ryan catching the same things that I find weak or strong? Plus some of the simplest acting tips can be extremely effective. For instance…

Tonight we rehearsed the scene in the sewer with the gangsters, I enter with Nicely, and dialogue begins. My first two lines are delivered in one spot where I am asking for an opportunity to address the fellows.

Big Jule doesn’t want me around and gives me every indication; I will not be allotted the opportunity to address the fellows. Up until this point, I have continued to deliver the lines from one spot. Now I could continue to stand there and deliver lines and they would have some effect, but in observation by our directors it is suggested I add some movement.

In effect, my left hand goes up, almost in a stop gesture and I walk to my right, with the line, “I am asking for only one minute.” I liked my previous way, but this is much better for effect. This comes from notes. I take no offense, the scene has been enhanced.

Finally, I get a chance to work with Ryan on dance steps. I finally have all the dance steps I need to know, it is time to practice them and give them life.

The evening ends walking out into the muggy summer air and a feeling of accomplishment. This was fun.

Saturday, June 25 th, 2005

The last Saturday! Yes! Today is the last Saturday practice. Next week is 4 th of July weekend and we will not be rehearsing on Saturday.

Saturdays’ have always been a special day at our house. That’s the day I make pancakes for breakfast. The day always starts early for us. Amanda and Jacob have paper routes, so I start by getting them up.

Typically I make coffee and read both the Wisconsin State Journal and Watertown Times. This task or luxury is usually completed by about 7:30 or quarter to 8. After that I go for my morning run which can be 3 or 4 miles depending on how I feel. While I’m out running, Linda heads to her Jazzercise class.

When I return home, I shower and then I start the process of making “The Big Breakfast.” My children look forward to this and have missed it. So have I.

Usually by about 9:45 we sit down to pancakes and sausage. Needless to say this has made for lighter lunches.

Today was picture day with costumes on. Unfortunately, I had white socks on, so I had to keep pulling down my pants to keep the socks from showing. I’ve turned into a grandpa.

Holly pulled a fast one on me this morning. We were working our way through the first act and I delivered the line, “I need private lessons, why don’t we have dinner or something?”

Holly, who is seated, reaches into the desk drawer on her right and pulls out a prop gun and says, “I think not Mr. Masterson.” Obviously not in the show, but was there for a good laugh. I guess I better be careful of who I’m dealing with here. This woman is capable of all sorts of dastardly things.

Morning proceeds o.k., but of course we do not get through the whole show like we intended. First Act gets completed and then it’s time to head over to the market for the teaser. That was fun, I just wish more people would have been milling around.

Brian Quinn did a great job of emceeing. He had me believing he was going to start charging people $6.00 for the show.

Monday, June 27 th, 2005

One of my favorite T.V. shows of all time is the Andy Griffith show and of course one of my favorite characters is the one played by Don Knots—Barney Fife.

Every afternoon I pick up newspapers for my two children, Jacob and Amanda and then bring the papers back to the house. This daily occurrence is always about 3:00 every afternoon.

For some reason today, I brought the papers home, dropped them in the garage and then slumped down to watch T.V. for five minutes before heading back to work. Being a male, I was channeling surfing when I came upon the start of an Andy Griffith show.

How fitting this show was. Evidently, the community choir was in a competition and short a first tenor who was out of town, and desperately needed to replace him. Of course, Barney heard this and began to drop big hints on his musical background and vocal instruction he must have received at one time.

The choir director, not knowing any better, and ignoring the warning signs from Andy, welcomes Barney to the choir with open arms. This as you can imagine turns out to be a big mistake.

The first night of choir practice, someone keeps hitting a sour note. We the audience know who it is, but the poor director does not have a clue who it might be and solicits Barney (the culprit) to find where that sour note is coming from. So Barney wanders around the various choir members as they sing and that sour note just seems to follow Barney all over the place. Well the cat is out of the bag; Barney is our sour note singer. What is a director to do?

The first option and it was shortly after seeing this option that I headed back to work, was to change the practice site and not tell Barney. Without a doubt, Barney finds them and precedes on blind to the fact his services and talents are no longer needed.

One of the reasons I tell this story is because I had a third grade music teacher, Mr. Perkins, who told me not to sing. He used to have us come up to the piano, one by one, and sing along with the piano, to learn where pitches were and practice hitting those pitches. This became one of the biggest embarrassments of my life, because I could never do it right. Those few seconds or minute I was up there seemed a lot longer and it didn’t help to hear people giggle, as I helplessly struggled.

The ultimate embarrassment came when we had our spring grade school concert and Mr. Perkins asked me not to sing and just mouth the words. It took me well over 30 years to fight off Mr. Perkins and those bad music memories.

It was finally a talent show at church that gave me any type of confidence again. We did not have a lot of acts for the show and as the organizer; I felt I should probably lead by example so I entered an Act. Linda took an old painter’s suit and turned it into a jump suit. We bought a witch’s wig at Shopko and turned it into Elvis’s hairpiece. We picked out one of my favorite Elvis slow songs, “Can’t Help Falling in Love With You.”

The day of the talent show, I positioned Linda in the audience, so I could use her as a prop. Also it would help to have someone I love up front, to focus on and keep from being nervous. Well I pulled it off and since then have gone other places to do Elvis impersonations. However, to this day, it still does not take much to bring my confidence down in a hurry. One wrong note like Barney brings me to a state of insecurity in a hurry.

Wow what a digression! There was a practice tonight and we ran through the whole show with the orchestra and no costumes.

I had a blast tonight and there was this plastic lizard that kept showing up in the most bizarre places. The lizard kind of reminded me of that Geico lizard.

By the time we got done with notes, it was pushing 10:30p.m. What a long night!

I started this entry with T.V. and I will end it with T.V. When I got home tonight I was so wound up, I could not sleep. We have a T.V. in our bedroom, so I turned it on and began to channel surf again.

On the WE channel I came across my favorite scene from my favorite movie. I must have seen this movie dozens of times and has more sentiment to me since the passing of my dad last year.

The movie, “Field of Dreams.” The scene? The very end when Ray realizes the catcher is his father.

Dad: Is this is heaven?

Ray: No it’s just Iowa.

Dad: I thought it was heaven

Ray: Is there a heaven?

Dad: Oh yes, it’s where dreams come true.

Ray: Then maybe this is heaven

Dad begins to walk away.

Ray: Dad? Would you like to have a catch?

Dad: Yes, I’d like that more than anything.

The movie ends and we begin to see the headlights from the long line of cars that are making their way to see the Field of Dreams.

As usual tears are streaming down my face and I ponder my question “Can we have a catch dad?” And what I would give for one more time to do that. I miss you dad and dreams do come true.

Tuesday, June 28 th, 2005

Thumbs Up!

Actions, sometimes means so much more than words. Just before rehearsal tonight, I worked with Juanita and Patti on a couple of hot spots I’m having with music.

Juanita stressed the importance of going up on the high notes hard, rather than creeping, and trying to crank up volume at the same time. “Don’t worry about squeaks, and I’m sure you will even feel better doing it.”

Why don’t we ever trust ourselves or those that are in the knowledge? I reckon it’s that age ole fear of failure.

Anyhow, we didn’t get far tonight as we working on certain spots as we went along. We did, however, do the number “Ill Know.” So what the heck? I thought let’s just let it rip and see what happens. From my spot on the stage, I could see Juanita give me the thumbs up, and a big smile, as Holly and I finished the duet.

Juanita would never have to say anything to me. That action meant so much more. Now if I can just duplicate it.

Practice ended at 9:45 p.m. Annette assured us, this would be the earliest we would be getting out for the next week, so enjoy it. I did and scurried home in the muggy night air to be with my neglected family.

Wednesday, June 29 th, 2005

I QUIT! MR. PERKINS YOU WIN!

Thursday, June 30 th, 2005

Emotions can always run high and what seems to be the end of the world one moment, is not quite the same after a good night’s sleep.

My wife, Linda and I have always tried to teach our children not to check out mentally in situations where they become stressed. It affects performance, your work, and your dealings with others. Last night I had broken our cardinal rule; I checked out mentally.

I made assumptions about myself and performance that weren’t all together true. I allowed it to eat at me until I could no longer function. In life, my friends, that is a major no-no. I went as far as to have my hearing tested today. Guess what? My hearing is fine. So now what? Here’s what’s going to happen, I will walk back on that stage and perform as if last night never happened and that is exactly what I did.

Were things perfect? Absolutely not! I did feel better about myself. “Let Go and Let God.” That is a wonderful motto. A few years ago, I attended a Via De Christo (Live the live of Christ) weekend and that is a phrase you hear all weekend. The words are so true, Let Go and Let God. There is nothing I can control, so stop micro-managing everything.

As practice ended tonight, I made a vow, I will forget about this play until Tuesday night of next week and that’s exactly what I did. The one exception was on the night of the 4 th of July, when I ran through my lines for the last time with my wife.

As we completed each section of the play I was a part of, she took out the markers I had put there, symbolic of this family bonding time we have been doing for the last three months. It helped keep the family linked to what I was working on. They are my biggest fans and will be at all the performances next week. I love them very much and they have been so supportive, in fact, if anyone goes down in this play, they’ve got their lines down. Jacob does a wonderful, “I’m a mission doll.” Beware Holly.

Tuesday, July 5 th, 2005

Down to the final two rehearsals. Wow, I cannot believe this week is upon us.

Tonight we ran the show like it was Showtime. I sensed some loss of energy tonight. Maybe it was the long weekend with no practice to keep us sharp. For me, I felt well rested. I must say I got plenty of sleep this weekend. I have no excuse not to have energy.

Poor Annette has come down with a cold. She sounded horrible and even she did not have her usual bounce to her.

I felt good about some areas of my performance tonight. I feel I can handle the songs and look to Juanita for help when needed. I know I need to slow down in areas, I also know I need to show more emotion in the love songs. I can do that. I have been so conscious of words and timing I have forgotten the other ingredients to a good performance.

I have also worked out what I will do in “Luck Be a Lady,” to stay in coordination with the other guys. So there were some parts, I am becoming happy with.

I still need to project in the Havana scene. I think that is more in lack of confidence of timing. I promise that will not be an issue in tomorrow night’s final rehearsal.

Long night, after notes, and current call didn’t get home till about 11:30 p.m. As usual after this was done, I had a heck of a time sleeping. Way too wound up.

Wednesday, July 6 th, 2005

And so we come to our last rehearsal. No more practice, it is time to start laying it on the line. All the little details now have to be in place.

Why in the world then would I start forgetting lines and missing parts? As far as memorization I have been rock solid on my lines. Tonight, I continued to miss the end of dialogue. Thank goodness I am surrounded by pros that picked me up when I was stumbling.

You know what? I am glad rehearsal is done. I need the real deal. Which leads me to a tragic tendency I have regarding performance, growing up I loved baseball. More than anything in the world I wanted to be a professional. However, there are a lot of talented people out there who play the game better than me.

In high school ball and legion ball before games I had this habit of throwing up before games. I’m not saying this is going to happen Thursday night, because it didn’t happen before “Joseph”. I’m just making a promise to you I will continue to pop the altoids.

The nice thing about the throwing up is that I was fine after that and usually played a pretty good game of baseball. So maybe losing my cookies is not such a bad idea.

Final thoughts on all this.

I truly am blessed to be a part of this show. This is an amazing group of individuals when it comes right down to it. If I never do another show again, that will be fine, because these memories will last a life time.

It’s hard to imagine the position I am in coming in tonight. I never was in Chorus, never was in a show until the Music Man last year and quite honestly don’t feel adequate enough to be Sky Masterson tonight. I can tell you this. You will always get my best effort and that will be the same over the next 3 nights.

I have regrets of course. As always I wish my dad was here. My dad would have enjoyed this show. He thought the world of Holly Sina as she attended the church my dad served in Waupun. In fact, she could do no wrong. To have the opportunity now to act along side Holly is something I could never have imagined some 25 years ago when she was saving my life. God had a purpose that July afternoon. God knew one day we would be matched up again on a July night some 25 years later. I wish dad could see this and I’m sure he will be here tonight somewhere watching from his cloud and we will not disappoint.

As far as God’s plan. I hope that somewhere in the course of the last three months that God has been working in your life. It never has to be a mountain top experience, God moves at God’s pace and sometimes that can be so frustrated to us mere humans. God has taught me through this process to Let Go and Let God and that is where I am at right now, letting go.

My family I need to thank as well. They are my biggest fans and my wife Linda has been the model of patience. She has allowed me to go off to be in play, that let’s face it, is a romance. I know that has been difficult for her. It would be difficult for me. Through all this, she has helped me with my lines, told me I have the greatest singing voice, and has consoled me when I come home from practice and gives me the courage to face another day. Thanks Linda. I love you.

To our wonderful Director Annette: You are unbelievable. Your energy always makes it fun. You are one of the reasons I tried out for this musical. I just remember you making it a fun experience my first time around in “The Music Man.” I learned so much from you then and I continue to do so.

Juanita…Thanks for always pushing me, but yet encouraging me. You have had far more confidence in me than I ever do. You’re right; I do need to trust myself. I always appreciate the fact that you are an upfront person. I like that in my friends. You do not patronize me and you call a spade a spade. Trust me, my feelings were never hurt. I want to be the best I can be.

Sue…You call a spade a spade as well. I could never work with people telling me how wonderful things were all time. You also have a knack of knowing when to acknowledge a job well done. That’s the secret of success of the Watertown Players.

Jan: Thanks for telling me how wonderful I looked in my costumes, when there were times I did not feel that was the case. It always made me stand a little taller and sometimes I actually felt like Sky Masterson.

A special message to Bill Jahnke: I saw a side of you I had never seen before and thanks for that word of encouragement, the night I was distraught after “Luck Be a Lady.” The truth of the matter I was ready to bolt for the door that night. You are a special person. Thanks.

To the rest of the leads: Thank you, it has been my pleasure. Mike kept me focused. Holly you made me think about the little things that could make something better, and Jenny, I just enjoy your laugh and the “Maude” outfit you courageously wear every night.

To the rest of the group: Thanks for your effort, your words of encouragement, the humor, and those obnoxious sounds Megan makes. Maybe we can do this again sometime.

Well folks, it’s almost Showtime. Ladies I will see you in front of the mission and Guys I’ll catch up with you down in the sewer.

Break a leg. Peace.

Philippians 4: 13